Feelin' lonely?
Cant find a partner?
Desparate for someone elses hand to touch your privates?
NO WORRIES BOSS....
For all your secret desires, call.....
JOHNY CONNORS BROTHEL
Main St. Crackmanan
"If your wrist is gettin' sore, Its time for one of Johnys whores"
* Sexy girls, 24/7
* State of the art massage parlour, located in a 40ft trailer.
* Erotic videos and organic lube (slurry)
* No need for protection, Johnys brother Tayto runs Crackmanans No 1 Abortionclinic.
* Handles all fetishs. (Except perverts, gays and English)
But wait, are you afraid of girls.......
Then ring Johnys 24hour sex line. 1800 TINKER
"Always on call boss, so no need for a toss"
Phones are manned 24 hours a day by Johnys wife and sisters.
But wait, theres more........
Thursday nite is ladies nite. Come on down girls, and watch Johnys cousin Pa get down with a dairy cow.
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