Irish Nobleman with captured bananas, circa 1695
"Eh so the Brits decided to plant all of Ireland in Bananas. This was a stupit idea as the climate was wrong, and all the council house fuckers kept eating the bananas. Infact, legend as it that curry sauce was invented in Ireland at this time by a young doler, who mixed bananas, cow shit and dock leaves to create a national favourite.
Jaysus those council estate vermin lived on em. They had some necks....until the english hung them. Enah nah nahh! One day the Mirror ran a story about the banana stealing, referring to the Irish as 'Banana robbing cunts'. The Irish noblemen, whop until then were too drunk to even notice the bananas, felt this to be a major insult to Irelands manhood and promptly rose an army to drive the Brits out.
At the battle of Kinsale, the Irish won a major victory. Finding new found fame on the international circuit, with talks, interviews and lectures, the Irish noblemen emmigrated. Eh the auld tax was high in Ireland. This was known as the Flight of the Hurls, as they took most of the GAAs equipment with them. Due to this, golf, hockey and medievil war were invented. Eh the auld bananas still grow in Ulster. Eh Four green fields, each one wa....fuck it, give us a pint sean."
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